Midnight ramblings of grace, faith, and other things

I just laid in bed for two hours without falling one bit more tired than I was the moment I set down my pretty little bed head. Two hours. Of thoughts streaming from one thing to the next, everything under the sun that rolls through your mind when you have to be awake and out the door in 4 hours. I started naming said thoughts for you, then promptly used my delete key. You don’t care. You’ve been there.

My biggest thought, though, was this: how happy and at peace the people in my world would be if they understood – I mean,Β really, to-the-core understood – how much God loves them. How much happier we as a people in general would be if we allowed God’s love to touch our lives, touch our hearts, so definitively, so absolutely, that every single act committed, every single word uttered, every single deed done, would flow from knowing we are loved. We are worthy. We are wholly and completely and unconditionally loved and accepted, and we are worthy of that love and acceptance.

One major flaw of people inside the Christian faith – in my young, humble, and inexperienced opinion – is that the primary message other people hear when preached to, is: you are broken, you are wrong, you are not worthy – but Jesus died for that. Gee, thanks, man. You basically just told me I suck.

The preaching is right; we are broken, and we fall short every day. But you know what I see? I see a world that is hurting. A world that knows how broken it is. You don’t have to walk up to a single mother who has made poor choices and tell her how broken she is; she faces her heart every morning in the mirror, she knows she’s missing something. You don’t have to tell the man who drove drunk and accidentally killed an innocent jogger that he’s a sinner. He’s not completely oblivious. Yes, I see a world that needs grace. I see a world that needs to be told how loved it is. And I see a Christian faith that needs to be reminded, You catch more flies with honey.

This is not dishonesty. And this is not discounting the sin aspect of the Christian faith. In fact, it is celebrating the crux of Jesus’ act. The greatest act of love ever performed, in the history of mankind: grace. That’s why Pastor Tullian Tchividjian‘s One Way Love is sky-rocketing. It’s why Billy Graham has been blessed with longevity in his personal and professional lives. It’s why best-selling author Robin Jones Gunn has written Spoken For and Victim of Grace, two non-fictions centered on grace and worthiness) in the last 2 years, a complete deviation from her last 25 years of fiction writing. We are crying out for grace. We are crying out for our broken hearts to be mended, individually and collectively.

There are many faiths that read this blog. And anyone who knows me in 3D will tell you, I am the last one to sit in a room and tell you over and over how much you need Jesus. I’m not pushy. I don’t back down from my view, but I listen to and respect yours. And that remains true here. But sometimes, the burden on my heart for the broken and the broken-hearted is so heavy, all I want to do is reach into your hearts and give you Jesus. Give you His peace, His tendency to wrap up His children so tightly they forget they’re in pain. His tendency to take our storms, whether in our spirits or in our external worlds, and calm them, tame them, wrangle and settle them for us. He’s fought our battles. He’s won the war. He finished it. I want to do this for you because I’ve seen it; I’ve seen the miracles. The stories and the hearts that can not be told and cannot be changed by science. They can only be explained by a higher power, a faith in a God who fiercely and flawlessly loves His children.

It is now less than 4 hours until I have to be up and showered. I’m not any closer to falling asleep, though I’ve now yawned twice in the last 15 minutes. Progress. That’s more than in the previous 2 hours I spent twisting and turning and sighing heavily as I came no closer to slumber. But on nights like these, I like to think that there’s a reason for the unrest.

If you’re in the same boat, thanks for joining me. And may God bless you with a more sound sleep tomorrow, as I pray He does for me!


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