The day my husband brought me a Star Wars sunshade.
Yep. You read that right.
My husband woke me up (woke me UP!) to show me his prized possession he picked up just for me – this after the surprise kitten he brought home earlier that day. Wednesday was … interesting.
He was stoked about this sunshade, let me tell you. The funny part? I’ve never seen Star Wars. My two pieces of Star Wars knowledge come from the Princess Leia fantasy episode of Friends, and the explanation of ‘Darth Vader’ = ‘Dark Father’ as told in Pitch Perfect. Not exactly up on my movie trivia, I understand.
So, why was he so excited, and what was my reaction?
Well, as I mentioned, he brought home a kitten earlier in the day. I strongly dislike cats, and he knows this. So a Star Wars sunshade was really par for the course of that day; it was a little surreal the things that kept happening. But HE definitely thought he was on a roll! He thought I’d find it hilarious. I politely thanked him for the sunshade, but I did ask him to keep it in his car. Which he did, until he tried it in my car while I was at work. And I got this text:
Yes, 3 exclamation marks. For a Star Wars sunshade and a long windshield. Go. Me.
At this point I conceded, because he was so excited. It is pretty funny, I will never lose my car, and I’ll always be able to tell people how to look for my house: just look for the car with Chewbaca and Hans Solo sitting in the front seat.
I said, “Thank you,” for two reasons: I’ve been on a Be-Grateful kick, and because ultimately he did this to make me laugh. Ladies, I bet you many of things your husband does that inside either make you cringe or make you think, “Why, Lord, why?!” Is really his attempt to make you smile, laugh, love him more, or simply to make you happy. And the more grateful I am for what I do have in my life, the less time I have to worry about what I’m missing. Like a Star Wars sunshade. Oh, wait…
It’s moments like these that remind me of how imperative it is that we are kind to our spouses. That we maintain a God-centered marriage so that our reactions to left-field gifts are responded to in love. And that we let our spouses know, in no uncertain terms and on a regular basis, just how much we enjoy having them in our lives.
Wives, please tell your husbands ‘thank you’, even when something has not gone exactly the way you planned or saw in your head. Husbands long to know they’re doing a good job. They need to know they’re doing their manly duty of caring for their family, providing for their wife’s needs, still making her light up like he did the day she agreed to be his bride.
Now, I have not said ‘Thank you’ for the cat; that’s on a whole nother level because it involves scents and sounds I don’t care to have in my home. But I do believe that infusing our relationship with ‘thank you’ as often as possible can be life-giving and marriage-building. And when I do silly things like leave the emergency break on for our 3-mile highway drive home, he might be less likely to throw a fit because I have exhibited kindness toward him. (Yes, that happened yesterday, and yes, my brakes were smoking when we got home).
Gratitude can go a long way, especially in your own household. He’ll more easily remember how much he matters to you, to his family, to his world. He’ll be more satisfied in general because you’ve reminded him that he is worthy, that his contributions to everything he’s trying to manage are appreciated. Watch his joy factor go up, up, up when he hears two simple words with a whole lot of heart behind them.
You tell me: What can you thank your husband for today? Something silly? Something serious? Do you think it’ll make a difference?