There are so many reasons I haven’t been writing. The biggest one being this little nugget:
Fact: That intro was just so I could show off a photo or two of who I believe to be the cutest baby in the world.
But it’s true. Almost everything everyone told me before I became a mom has come to fruition: I feel every emotion possible at some point during every 24-hour cycle; life is lived between naptime and feedings; I do love being a mom; and laundry should never, ever, go on a mom’s to-do list, simply because she will never be able to cross it off. I’m a list person, people. So to avoid my type-A self from getting in a tizzy, I leave laundry off my to-do list and I just assume that I will always be doing laundry.
Another reason I’ve hesitated in writing is because I have been bound-and-determined, with something fierce inside of me, to not make this into a mommy blog. And though this post is about motherhood, I will maintain that Life’s So Sweet is not a mommy blog. Not that there’s anything wrong with them, but there are so many of them, and I just have no desire to add to that noise. Mostly because I don’t think motherhood should be treated like a martyrdom. But I do see why they exist. For awhile, your child consumes almost everything you do, everything you say, and everything you think. Anywho…
If you read my birth story, you might be wondering how I’m doing. Am I enjoying motherhood? Am I healing/healed? Am I regaining my health? My sanity? Yes to all. I really enjoy being a mom, see:
Even when this goes on:
Which it does. She’s a baby so it’s kind of expected.
But this happens, too:
So what do I wish people had told me before I became a mother? Nothing more than was already told to me. I don’t feel like mothers left anything out in an attempt to let me learn it on my own. I got lots of advice. I still don’t feel like the negative comments were necessary, especially the ones about me never sleeping again; dear sweet AB has been sleeping through the night since she was 5 weeks old. (I – honestly – thank God for this every.single.day). And I do get to eat, I do have energy, I don’t want to give her back, and I still have my dog.
But what’s the best piece of advice I did receive before I became a mother? The one that’s saved my peace of mind time and time again?
“You’ll love her, but you won’t like her at first. It gets better.”
It gets better.
When the anger and the tears were just too much that they exploded out of my body, I could remember: it gets better.
When she was colicky and crying for hours at a time, I could remember: it gets better.
When the Law of Parenting says that as soon as I sit down to eat, she will cry or need my attention, I could remember: it gets better.
When I screwed up the number of ounces of formula, I could remember: it gets better.
When the spouses just are not getting along that day because we remember how easy life used to be, I could remember: it gets better.
Some of this stuff ebbs and flows, but everything is a phase. And the mind-state of the first three months of motherhood are rarely something to rely on. It does get better. It feels like it won’t because you do the same exact thing, every single day, for about 90 days, before anything really changes. You think, “How have I only been doing this for a couple of months?!” But it does get better.
The anger and tears go away as the hormones calm back down.
The colic and crying wane as she grows and learns to communicate in different ways.
She learns to entertain herself and you do get back to eating (fairly) on-time.
Solid foods will be here before you know it.
And spouses learn to realign their expectations of each other and their sense of family.
I like being a mom. More than I thought I would. Which is good, because the condition’s not going anywhere, is it? 😉
Happy Day, folks!
**I’ve had a different experience than some because of the trauma surrounding the birth, but I know I’m not the only one to ever have gone through postpartum depression. You’re not alone if that’s you. If you don’t know where to go or who to talk to, shoot me an e-mail and I’ll be there. firstname.lastname@example.org**